Wander, Wonder, and Invent
This post is about reconnecting with my inner child through exploration, wonder, and in the future invention.
Innocence is the child , and forgetfulness, a new beginning, a game, a self-rolling wheel, a first movement, a holy Yea. - Nietzsche - Thus Spoke Zarathustra
Over the years, and more recently while grinding on my now defunct startup, I felt that I lost touch with my creative and explorative side.
I felt these joyful and colourful parts of my soul had slowly been invaded by cynicism and pessimism. For instance I remember a change within when I was trying to raise money from VCs a few years ago. At times I was trying too hard, wearing a mask that did not represent me; a mask that blocked the rays of my soul from shining. Don’t get me wrong, I had productive conversations with great, insightful investors, but I also had interactions with individuals and firms that left me feeling tarnished.
Additionally, working very, very hard alone last year to save my company, and still failing left me frustrated, confused, and a tad bitter.
That’s why it’s time for a soft reset within. I’m not seeking the kind of hard reset that wipes everything clean. In truth, I realise that there are many positive experiences from building a company (and failing!) that I can internalise. But going forward, I want to recalibrate my mind to tap more frequently and effectively into my inner child.
By tapping into my inner child, I mean that I want to bring back more of my sense of amazement at discovering and trying things. I want to call upon my sense of wonder to appreciate and elevate old and new experiences.
Interestingly, I believe that becoming a father creates the perfect circumstances to reconnect with my fleeting inner child. This is because I feel ever more inspired watching my daughter learn new things every day. It is amazing to witness her being in awe when she sees something new, giggling while singing, learning new words, or trying to use the same word “pâtes” (French for pasta) to refer to every new food that she likes (she loves pasta).
Being her father, and seeing her flourish everyday is truly an honour and a blessing. It is also an opportunity to learn how to rekindle the fires of curiosity and creativity to light up all dimensions of my life.
As I mentioned in a previous post, 2024 is a year where I am going to dedicate more time to exploring, wandering, and being amazed at what I see, do and learn. It is a year of rebuilding and rediscovery, both inside and outside.
However, I recognise that the urge to build and to become more successful still burns strongly within me. This impatience feels sometimes very acute when I scroll through my Twitter feed that is buzzing with the achievements of fellow builders and Indie Hackers. I also want to join in the party by sharing my own triumphs. But, I am in no rush, yet.
Instead, I want to experience more of the beauty and freedom that comes from wandering and being receptive to witnessing new wonders. There is still time to invent.
Eventually, I know I will build again in a few months. In the meantime, I am still on the quest to revive my inner child. Then I plan to blend the wisdom and experiences gathered over my adult years with the eternal curiosity and contagious energy of my younger self to propel me further in my founder journey.
So for now, let’s wander, wonder, and when the time is right, invent anew.